![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:07 • Filed to: Airing of Grievances | ![]() | ![]() |
With the whole debate this afternoon, I’ve decided to post this airing of grievances. The rules are plucked straight out of the Oppo handbook, and go as follows:
Be Excellent To Each Other - No attacks, either personally, or on the group as a whole. This airing of grievances will operate in a civil manner.
Take Ownership Of The Community - no picking fights here, or taking fights elsewhere. We need to show the world that we’re an outstanding group of people.
Here are my grievances.
1: Batshit Babes: This is a very controversial series. Although it has been a staple of Oppo, so have been NSFW posts. If the community wants to change for the better, we have to be sensitive towards all viewpoints. There is a time and !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! for Batshit Babes, and I think it’s time on Oppo has passed (sorry McMike).
2: Enforcement of Rule #1: As much as I love us operating in this fairly relaxed state, sometimes moderation is a good thing. Would it be possible to start a movement where if a user violates Rule #1, say, five times in a certain period of time, they are given temporary leave? It would just help to keep people in line, and promote good etiquette.
3: Equality: We want to make Oppo a safe and inviting space for all automotively-inclined members of the internet - not just a guys club. We need to do more thinking before posting. We need to think to ourselves such thoughts as “Could this be offensive?” and “Would I be okay with this being posted to my personal profile on Facebook?” Basically, I just want to see more initiative on the part of posters, so that the moderators have to intervene less.
Those are my grievances, what are yours?
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:10 |
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I’m with you on this, although in terms of #2, that’s already enforceable. People have received warnings and bans for not being excellent.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:11 |
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Tacos.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:11 |
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Fair enough regarding #2. It’s a very good point that you raise.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:12 |
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Do you care to expand on that?
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:12 |
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Fuck tacos.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:12 |
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Burritos are better.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:13 |
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mediocrity > excellent..........
keep oppo mediocre
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:13 |
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Yes they are.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:13 |
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...HOW DARE YOU
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:13 |
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Damn! I could go for a Taco or 20 right now.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:13 |
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I respect your opinion.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:14 |
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![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:17 |
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I am not clear on your beef against the Batshit Babes contest. Is it because it is gender oriented, or that it is in some way bad taste to ridicule the contestants’ behavior? If the former, there has been a recent suggestion to perhaps do a male version. If the later, I suppose it hinges on whether you believe that people who put themselves in the public domain with their behavior are fair game.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:17 |
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Also, people who hate on The Core. It may be a little scientifically-inaccurate, but it’s a fun movie, damnit.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:18 |
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Fine by me. More for me. :)
*steals a kebab*
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:18 |
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Fine, you can have one of my meatsicles if you give me one of those Texan breakfast burritos you love so much.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:20 |
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I’m just saying that it’s not in the best taste overall. A ranking of stupid things done with vehicles? That would be fine. But I don’t feel that Batshit Babes is the right way to do it, especially considering the reactions towards it from the female demographic.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:20 |
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I had tacos for dinner - made them all by myself and my wife even liked them. Unrelated - I think I still want a WRX.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:20 |
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Since we are airing grievances, I have a grammatical grievance:
That is X =/= you are X.
It’s natural sometimes to view pushback as an attack. Shit, I’ve done it. I’ve been a dick to people about it. I was wrong. (Snap, HHFP, others, my bad.) But, taking a moment to look carefully at what was said/written is important.
Also, taking your grievance off-site (FB, CL, etc.) to continue there is total bush-league bullshit.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:20 |
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How does CL feel about tacos?
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:21 |
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![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:22 |
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They’re breakfast tacos . And you can have as many as you want. They’re only 99 cents each from the gas station down the street. (And yes, gas station tacos are legit awesome here. There’s always a 20 minute long line for them). :)
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:22 |
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I tried to encompass that with the whole “think before you post” thing. We’re supposed to use our brains to further humankind, rather than not use them and get into arguments with people on the internet.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:24 |
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The constant bitching and moaning about Tavarish needs to stop. Every time an article of his is posted there is a torrent of posts complaining about and mocking him that clutter up our FP. I mean, I get it, I skip right past his articles just like the rest of you, but the nonstop whining is just as bad.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:25 |
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I have to agree with you there.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:25 |
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1) The original joke hinges on the “ladies be crazy” trope. That’s why it was always gender-exclusive, and often with a subtle cheesecake angle.
2) The suggestion for the men’s version, while at times made in good faith, is an attempt to wallpaper over the real problem: the original series. Two wrongs (or 1.5 wrongs, really) do not make a right.
3) I think that those who are “in the public domain” for their behavior are getting what they deserve. They’ve been arrested and are usually awaiting some form of trial. That’s what the criminal justice system is for.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:27 |
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Meh. It’s an off topic forum. I don’t care if the posts are car related or not.
If I don’t like the post, I don’t read it. I don’t go complain to try to get it banned.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:27 |
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The very fact that the contest is gender-specific just leads to long sexist comment threads. I don’t think adding another gender-specific contest would help. I would support a contest of stupid things done with vehicles (there have certainly been some outstanding incidents lately).
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:28 |
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Fair point, although I’d argue ( groans at own shitty joke ) that many of the things which have furthered mankind the most grew out of arguments, although perhaps not on the internet. (Until very recently, at least.)
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:28 |
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What about Shawarma or Gyros?
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:29 |
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BRING IT
BY THE SPARE TIRES
AFTER LUNH TOMORROW
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:29 |
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That is true. I should say that we should use our brains before we hit publish.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:30 |
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![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:30 |
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“Offensive” is a term thrown around far too much lately, and is so very often completely subjective. Truly offensive topics rarely, if ever, present themselves on Oppo (and honestly, if they have, I have never seen it). Therefore, I am in favor of limiting moderator involvement as much as possible when it comes to the content of a post, especially considering that community reaction tends to knock out the bad stuff pretty quickly.
Save the bans for spammers, we can police our own ranks.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:30 |
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My grievances will be aired int a post scheduled for tomorrow.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:31 |
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I fucking love that show...BUT ITS ON
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:31 |
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Never had shawarma, so I can’t say (but I’d imagine it would be an enthusiastic yes).
Gyros? Absolutely! OMNOMNOM!
I'm team food, basically. :D
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:32 |
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Fantastic show, but I WILL TURN YOU INTO A KABAB.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:33 |
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I’m just not sure that community policing would work. Moderation is an important job, and is sometimes very necessary. Offensive would be something directly attacking a specific race/sex/religion/etc. Controversial does not always equal offensive.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:33 |
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I agree. Too many have left already because of this.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:34 |
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It’s very thoughtful of you to schedule a post for such a topic.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:35 |
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Technically it’s not an airing of issues, just a confessional that ties in with someof this by accident lol
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:36 |
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I WILL NOT FALL TO YOU MEAT MASTERY
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:37 |
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Fair enough.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:39 |
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I agree. Calling other users “a cancer” off-site is something we should encourage.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:39 |
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I can see your point of view.
But we also have to guard against getting too oversensitive. It does no one good to get too PC. For example, we go on and on around here about how manuals are the only enthusiast choice with subtle and not so subtle jabs toward automatic transmissions and those who use them. I drive an auto. I am paralyzed and have no choice, but I used to drive a manual and would choose an auto even if I had a choice. I could get all butt hurt and leave Oppo over it, but I realize that the kidding around is all in fun and not inconsistent with “be excellent”. It doesn’t bother me.
We could all learn from $kaycog and refuse to be offended by sexist jokes. She takes ownership of it instead with her COTD awards. I’m not saying we should all be freely and thoughtlessly crass and offensive. Just that we shouldn’t be too thin-skinned.
Everything in moderation.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:42 |
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Not sure if you’re aware, but there are groups elsewhere under the oppo name of people who have left because of the moderation occurring. They decided oppo was headed in a direction they didn’t like, so they left.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:42 |
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But where do we draw the line, and who gets to draw it?
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:43 |
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I’m aware. You send them my best, ok?
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:43 |
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I definitely agree with you on the part that we could all use thicker skin. Sometimes, the best thing to do is move on.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:44 |
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Calm down. What’s with the hostility?
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:44 |
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When has it
not
worked? Maybe once every few months? Even less?
Oppo visitors that are hell-bent on chaotic and irrational commentary rarely get un-greyed, and have never gotten authorship (to my memory). Of course, any one of us could go nuts at any moment and join an Alien-worshipping Death Cult, but that’s just the normal progress of life and nobody should be afraid of Zarthon’s loving embrace.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:48 |
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Keep Oppo Laissez-faire.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:48 |
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Fair enough.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:48 |
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There’s a few people on the fp that take every opportunity to put European cars on blast, and for some reason I get the feeling they’ve never owned one.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:48 |
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That’s a good question, and it’s one that’s beyond me.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:49 |
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I think the current system works well.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:50 |
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Exactly.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:50 |
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I more or less agree with you there. I’m just thinking that Oppo needs a bit of a reform, but I’m unsure regarding how to approach it.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:50 |
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Couldn’t have said it better myself. Have a star.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:51 |
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I generally try to be pretty good (and I hope i’m successful) But yeah, this is a rare place on the internet and it needs to stay just as friendly.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:52 |
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Another one? I really don’t see why.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:52 |
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Not hostility, just frankness. “Hostility” is a term thrown around far too much lately. So too are admonitions of “Calm down.”
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:53 |
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Fair point. Maybe it’s me just trying to hold onto an Oppo of the past. But, as ever, things ebb and flow throughout time.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:54 |
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I think people should just not take everything so seriously all the time, that’s all.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:55 |
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Wouldn’t it be more excellent if the sexist jokes didn’t exist in the first place?
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:55 |
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Sir. Calm down, sir. This anger of yours will not be tolerated. Stop getting so emotional about a joke. It’s literally no big deal. Literally. Can’t you take a joke? I mean, I don’t think it’s offensive at all, so just calm down.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:58 |
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$kaycog also bodyshames other women, which isn’t cool, and apparently gets offended by being called out on those comments. Let’s not put her on a pedestal here.
![]() 03/08/2016 at 23:59 |
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I don’t like all these posts about cars
![]() 03/09/2016 at 00:00 |
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Fair point, to be sure. But, I’ve said before, and I’ll say again: Dismissing someone else’s concerns because “It was meant as a joke”, etc. is doubly not-excellent-to-each-other. Once because it implies you do not care about their opinion and a second time because it implies that, in the grand scheme of things, your fun trumps their feelings. I don’t know how you view the world, but those seem to me like things which those who aim to build a robust community ought to worry about.
![]() 03/09/2016 at 00:05 |
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Yeah.
![]() 03/09/2016 at 00:05 |
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Maybe I’m not on the FP enough to have seen that.
![]() 03/09/2016 at 00:10 |
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Offensive. I’m getting sooooo tired about people feeling offended.
We are now a nation of crybabies and women.
![]() 03/09/2016 at 00:11 |
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$kay also resolutely ignores any female Oppo who tries to bring any concerns to her with regards to sexism. $kay isn’t the example of how things should be done, she’s the example of how sexism is so pervasive even women can very actively and willingly perpetuate it.
![]() 03/09/2016 at 00:12 |
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That's cute.
![]() 03/09/2016 at 00:15 |
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![]() 03/09/2016 at 00:17 |
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Hot take
![]() 03/09/2016 at 00:18 |
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It happened yesterday, but $kay dismissed comments that were made to her.
![]() 03/09/2016 at 00:18 |
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soft or hard shell?
![]() 03/09/2016 at 00:20 |
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Yesterday explains it. I was looking at R129s yesterday.
![]() 03/09/2016 at 00:27 |
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We’re all flawed. It’s best to take life as it comes, and to not let others get us down. Life can be a series of little battles, or it can flow. It all depends on what you choose.
![]() 03/09/2016 at 00:47 |
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My main grievance is I still have to sleep on an airmattress for two more weeks and don’t get paid till the end of March. That is my main grievance!
![]() 03/09/2016 at 00:53 |
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My grievance is that this is that no real discussion about these matters takes place. People on both sides have valid points, but they just bitch at each other.
![]() 03/09/2016 at 01:20 |
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Oppo doesn’t need an intervention every time there’s one contentious post out of hundreds.
![]() 03/09/2016 at 01:31 |
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!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
![]() 03/09/2016 at 02:27 |
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WHY IS IT MUGGY? UGH IT FEELS LIKE HOUSTON. HOUSTON! THERE IS A REASON I DO NOT LIVE IN HOUSTON.
WHY IS MY ARTICLE NOT DONE AND WHY AM I NOT ASLEEP?
WHY IS THERE RAIN? RAIN IS POOP.
WHY ARE BOFA DEEZ NUTS CONSISTENTLY KEPT FROM DROPPING TRUTHS OF STEEL ON THE POLITICAL DEBATES?
WHY AM I TYPING IN ALL CAPS? I AM NOT TERRY PRATCHETT’S DEATH. IF THIS WRITING THING DOESN’T WORK OUT, I GUESS I COULD PICK UP A JOB AS DEATH? IDK.
WHY DO I NOT HAVE A GARAGE AND A TOW VEHICLE? AAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHHHH
I NEED A CAYENNE
MY HAIR IS NOT EVEN THIS WEATHER. NOT. EVEN.
AUGHH I CAN’T ORDER A BROWN CAYENNE DIESEL ANYMORE WHEN I WIN THE LOTTERY AND IT’S ALL VOLKSWAGEN’S STUPID FAULT I HATE EVERYTHING RAWR
(In all seriousness, I cannot drive my Porsche race car at the moment due to a significant head injury, and that makes Stef a cranky bunny.)
![]() 03/09/2016 at 07:52 |
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This is very obviously bigger than one post.
![]() 03/09/2016 at 08:02 |
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She dismissed my response to her stuff about the naked woman on the truck the other day, but I saved the link and text for posterity. The only thing we should learn from her is what a textbook example of internalized misogyny/cool girl syndrome looks like, and I’ve said as much to her so I don’t feel bad repeating it to you.
![]() 03/09/2016 at 09:11 |
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Significant head injury? I must have missed that, but very sorry to hear (well, read) it. Hope you recover soon!
![]() 03/09/2016 at 10:16 |
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I hope you heal up soon. Puffalumps are counting on you.
![]() 03/09/2016 at 11:05 |
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I honestly don’t care about other people’s opinions.
![]() 03/09/2016 at 11:10 |
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I can tell.
![]() 03/09/2016 at 11:14 |
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Ok can we stop with this shitty narrative that we complained and tried to ban the thing? The guy asked us our opinion. We said no thanks in a variety of different ways. At no point did anyone personally attack the guy or call him sexist! He edits his post to complain about being shit on, everyone else joins in with “there there OP tell us where the mean ladies hurt you,” and then goes on to write two more threads complaining about how he’s such a nice guy and we’re awful for turning down his suggestion.
![]() 03/09/2016 at 11:25 |
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And then people were all over McMike to get him to stop.
![]() 03/09/2016 at 11:37 |
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Oooooh-kay? Thanks, but I didn’t need a self esteem pep talk. This isn’t about somebody “get(ting me) down,” it’s about making factually based criticisms about the perniciousness of sexism on Oppo. And it’s more than a little insulting that your response to me here is to make some sort of comment to emotionally assuage me.
My criticisms of $kay (as well as the criticisms other women Oppos have against her) are valid concerns when she’s the ONLY woman here who is a mod. They’re also valid because anytime one of us brings up a concern about sexism on this forum, the inevitable response is to trot out $kay as the ideal woman. How many times have you seen someone say something along the lines of, “Look at $kay. She doesn’t have a problem with it. She even posts stuff herself with the COTD rewards.”?
What we're saying is, in effect, she is part of the problem.
![]() 03/09/2016 at 11:45 |
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Read the thread again. Having an opinion about the level of discourse in the threads of his posts != “all over” someone. Once again, zero personal attacks, no one called McMike a sexist, one person said she wouldn’t mind seeing an end to BSB, another proposed making it all-inclusive. The Horror.
I swear, with this level of fragility going around y’all got some nerve calling ANYONE else sensitive.
![]() 03/09/2016 at 11:51 |
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I do think Stef still has mod powers, but she’s probably occupied with Black Flag. Also (entirely my own speculation) I certainly would not blame someone for not wanting to wade into this wielding mod power under their real name.
![]() 03/09/2016 at 11:54 |
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Yeah. I knew Stef used to be a mod, but it was my understanding she stepped away from it when she became an employee of Gawker Media. I could be wrong about that, but I would more than understand the conflict issues that could potentially arise from being an employee here and a mod. It's easier to just not invite problems in the first place.
![]() 03/09/2016 at 12:07 |
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Well yeah, at least the mean spirited ones. One of the functions of humor is to allow us to look at our isms and stereotypes and laugh at them, kind of like the Bogart is Harry Potter, if I can geek out for a sec. That’s why gender humor is such a staple of human existence, because stereotypes exist and need to be dispelled. Unfortunately it’s also all too easy to use it to denigrate and attack.
![]() 03/09/2016 at 12:14 |
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I think of body shaming as directed toward a person who can be hurt by it. That’s not the same in my eyes as looking at what’s there in the public and commenting on it. The comments I remember are directed at how fake boobs and collagen injections look silly, and those are things I agree with. I’d like to see women in our culture feel less pressured by the need to sculpt themselves into walking Barbie dolls and just be beautiful for who they are.